DISCLAIMER: Please don’t mistake me for a feminist clothed in a cotton saree with a big red bindi on the forehead. I am merely a simple working lady who works outside more than inside the home but has observed many women do so….and here I am discussing my observations which has sometimes made me laugh, sometimes has surprised me and most of the times made me contemplate on the issue.
The male member is the stellar personality, the prima donna and the Demi-God of the house! All the mothers, sisters, daughters and wife are meant to be at the service of this magnificent being. Whether you are up for a long or short vacation or are expecting some guests at home or Whether it is a season of festivals or just mundane affair, the male soul remains unfettered and unaffected of happenings around them. After all, what they should get affected of? Females of the house gladly offer to take all the burden of the things on their shoulders, leaving the male creatures with a great feeling of superiority!
It is out of duty, Dharma and some unwritten paramount law of the Universe that the female beings have to take charge of cooking, cleaning, serving, cleaning, washing, fulfilling everyone’s need, cleaning and cleaning…and..it goes on and on…
Let us take a scene from the most celebrated affairs of Indian families: marriage!! You would come across two parallel worlds. One world buzzes with activity with female members scurrying to and fro preoccupied with the timely and proper supply of water, tea, food, making sitting and sleeping arrangements for the guests, failing which will fail the whole celebration as well. While the other world dwells in eternal peace, a sense of relaxation prevails, everyone is calm and composed with no hurry or worry in mind.
Attending marriages are the excellent vacation time for our chachas,phuphas Jijajis, Mamas and the like who are already quite an expert at being inactive at their respective homes and make the best show of their talent on such big occasions. The superior beings are found generally chatting in half laid position taking naps in between the long marriage ceremonies.
The lunch and dinner are my favorites of all times. During this hour the activity happens in both the worlds but with different intensity: while women spend long tiring hours to prepare food and line themselves up very sincerely to serve: the people from the other world trouble their bodies only to move few inches away from their places to have food. They eat without any expression, changing it only occasionally to complain about less salt or more chili in the menu.After all, it not only spoils their mood but also brings disrespect to the fact that they moved all the way om their seats to have it! After finishing, thalis are moved away which is then accepted by the female members as specific award or Prasad.
Let us change the scene and move on to a day of the festival say Holi, Eid or Diwali. For men, it means doing errands and getting certain desirable things. That too is accomplished after they get their keys, helmet, a shopping list and a shopping bag in hand while for women it’s a battle to be won. Female members roll up their sleeves a week before the festival and begin rolling, cutting, filling and frying….and that doesn’t get over here because up till now it’s only the half battle won. On the D day, they have to reassert their worth on cleaning and serving front. After the festival, the women are left with a pleasant feeling, but it is not the one from spending time with friends and foes, joking and having a changed routine: that part is taken care of by their superiors. Instead, they feel happy because it is over!
Well, I don’t blame any man for this difference, in fact, many do help their mothers and wives in daily chores like cleaning, cooking or serving but yes I do have a problem with the women who hardly remain united at home and let men take advantage of it. This is to all those mothers who cook with great love but consider it derogatory for their son to learn the same. To all grandmothers who never asked our grandfathers for help in daily chores and let them rose to a position of God. To all the mother in laws who roll their eyes when sons are not attended promptly by the bahu, irrespective of the fact that both return tired from their work. The whole society at large which scorns at a man who assists his wife in daily domestic affairs and convinces him that ruling over the wife is manly and not standing strong for her.
These all things over the years have made men forgotten that they are not Demi-Gods and there is not any written rule by which they are to be served twenty-four hours and these all things over the years have turned certain men insensitive towards the female counterparts.
It’s high time when we understand that our society needs stronger women and sensitive men. Isn’t it?